Knock! Someone’s at the door. Shit! Pretend like you’re asleep. Hash! Relax! Gone. Now the tears can roll down peacefully. Heavy heart. Chocked throat. What actually happened? What was so deep that hit her right there? Why are those tears?  What’s the reason? Oh no! So many questions. What if someone sees me or hears me? What will i answer? Wait!  Do i need to see a doctor?  No no!  Not that broken. I think i can mend it myself. But it’s pretty evident. My eye bags. How do i get rid of these puffy eyes. Let me put on my glasses. Now relax!  Remember people don’t love you because you are special, you are special because only a few people love you immensely, sometimes despite the way you are. I need to pamper myself or maybe i need someone else to do that for me. What do i need?  I need peace. I need love. But most of all i need strength. The strength to overcome every obstacle in my life. The strength which my father gave me, taught me. So, stop thinking much.
Forget everything.
Breathe! You can do it.
Fake a smile.
There you go.
And;
EXIT

-shefali

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You know what’s getting a warm hug?

Someone asked me this very easy but strange question.
All i said was
Yes, when on the hottest night of summer, you go to your bed, try to sleep because there is a whole new tomorrow waiting for you.
You stretch yourself over your sheet.
Then Late! Late! Actually very late. Probably just before dawn when it starts to get a little colder and you briefly wake up to catch hold of your sheet and wrap it around yourself and just that flimsy sheet makes you feel so warm that you go back to a deep sleep again.
That feeling. That warmth. That kind of love you get from something or someone is a warm hug.

-shefali

Enjoy it while it lasts. That’s the simple truth. Last year literally flies by. It’ll all feel like it never happened, freshers, fests and everything worthy of you presence will be over in the blink of an eye. Now soon you’ll be rushing for your jobs, some for further studies and few love birds will get married. You’ll want more time with the people you’ve been around for four years. Just soak up every morsel before its too late. You’ll wake up tomorrow and you have five days to leave college and you are just now meeting people you wish you would have years ago. Be friends with everyone because the moment you walk across the stage, there is a huge chance you’ll never see anyone again. But most of all cherish your closest friends. Embrace the last moments together having a blast, because saying goodbye comes faster than thou wants to believe.

Its that hour of the day in a year when you fell completely miserable about how your life is going on, how are things working, how are people reacting to your thoughts and ideas, you are tossing any turning on your comfortable bed with all bulked up thoughts, you are restless and all fucked up. You try to talk to you mom and end up pissing her off. You try to converse with your dad and end up getting a nice blow. You give a last try and talk to your best friend, and guess what, it still didn’t work.
Then suddenly you forget everything. Every problem you are going through and remember that small child you met today who came running up to you leaving his own mommy to play with you, to be loved by you. And that little piece on earth gradually left a large smile on you face
And then you realize that good thoughts bring to you happy hours on a particular day of a year.

-shefali

There are people who make you feel good.
Then there are some who make you feel special.
Then there are some more who make you feel miserable.
Then there is this one person who makes you feel pathetically great.
gives up on you completely.
Rely on you for everything.
You can feel the depth of this person by just one touch.
You surrender yourself to each other.
Respect the extraordinary love for each other.
You fall for her every morning, her eyes, her hair covering her face beautifully, her tiny little breaths that makes you fell proud because you have kept her so safe and secure.
And you, you are ready to give everything to this one person.
Because you love him now and forever.

-shefali

Find happiness

Heartbreak is not falling in love with a guy at the age of sixteen. sitting on your porch with those broken pieces wondering how to stick them together, telling your heart broken story to everyone who makes a visit to your house.
Darling, Real heartbreak is not being able to experience the very minute things in life.
Finding happiness in every small thing you do.
While you are on your way to office and see a very cute random kid looking at you with a desire to love him, and you do, you make those silly faces at him and he laughs, that’s true happiness.
Find happiness when you father gets you your favorite ice cream at mid-night just because he saw you in a bad mood.
Find happiness when your mother comes to you and says “Honey, come on, share it with me”
But most particularly, find happiness in loving you, your soul, and your body.

-shefali

20 years from now

20 years from now when my daughter’s heart will be broken by some random guy she fell in love with. I will lay her head on my laps, run my finger through her hair with one hand and with the other hand, hold on to her hand tight and strong. So that she doesn’t feel left out, she doesn’t feel she is alone, she doesn’t feel that she is the only one who is going through all this.
That day i will tell her my story.
My story about how i met a guy.
A random guy, that made my heart skip a beat.
How i struggled to talk to him, to be his, and he be mine.
How he ignored me at first, and how my love transformed him into someone else.
How we spent all nights on the phone.
Then i will tell her that it is a custom.
A custom for a girl’s heart to be broken once in her life time.
But this shouldn’t stop you from moving on.
I will tell her how my mother supported me and that’s what i am doing today.
What i will not tell her is, how i still love that guy, how i cry sometimes when he is missed a lot, how i curse my luck not to have him forever, how i regret not calling him your father.
20 years from now and so on
I have and always will love you.

-shefali